Mara: I have a question about your first surgery, if you don't mind--my daughter's surgery was at 4 months, and we did physical therapy for a year afterward. It involved stretching the vaginal opening with an inserted rod. Do you know if that was part of your post-surgery process? about your mom--maybe it would help if you took this in two stages. First, you guys need to get on the same sheet of music (as my darling husband always says). Find a time when you and she can sit down, WITHOUT the issue of making an appointment. And talk. Find out what she's really thinking. Find out why she's resistant to the idea of you seeing a gyn/or having surgery (which may be two separate issues). And share your feelings with her--she may or may not understand that you're upset about the tampons, and that you want to be completely healed well before marriage becomes a pressing deadline. Don't engage on the issue of getting an appointment, or trying to PERSUADE her. Instead, listen. And inform. Later, after you understand each other, the gyn may come more easily. I used to be a very stubborn hotheaded daughter, and my mom was an emotional freezer when it came to potentially embarrassing issues. I always felt like my first responsibility was to protect her from having to talk about things that made her feel uncomfortable. It wasn't till I was married and my husband made me realize that it was the opposite of what she needed. Now, as an adult, I still have to chip away the ice and make her talk about things she HAS to talk about. Most of all, trust that your mom loves you.