Nine years ago I started working at a Respite Center for developmentally delayed people. My youngest client was 2 and my oldest was 60. The 2 y/o Joshua, had such a strong hold on my heart. Half his brain was dead, he was blind, and had epilepsy, and at 2 he weighed 22lbs. When his mother would drop him off I would run to get him. I always wanted to be the first to greet him. He would smile when he heard my familiar voice. I would sit up with this child allll night long and hold him during his relentless seizures. I would pray that he would be okay and for strength to help him. In the morning the other clients would get up and be so glad I was there and ask when my next shift was. There was the 26 year old who needed one-on-one counseling on female hygiene and actually enjoyed our trips to Wal-Mart to pic out different products LOL. I can't forget the man with Down's Syndrome who wanted to be a State Stupid (a State Trooper) when he had a 'real' job. I'll always remember the 8 year old girl who taught me that communication isn't always verbal...a hug meant "we're best friends"......I had so much fun bringing them to the mall, going to the park, making popcorn balls....This is one of the best times in my life. I would actually pray for God to bless me with a less-than-perfect child (healthwise). I basked in the unconditional love these people had for me. They truly didn't care what I was wearing or how I looked or how much money I made. All they cared about was who would be first to get their "hug-of-the-day". I wanted a child that would need special attention so I would not get lost in the competition. I was sure that a less-than-perfect child would continue to remind me of the true miracle they really are. Here I am 9 years later with a less-than-perfect child healthwise....it dawned on me a few days ago that Damon is exactly what I prayed for. He demands more from me than I thought I could ever give...but I do. His health condition has required me to become a walking medical encyclopedia, spewing out lab test values, bone-age densities, and an assortment of drug information. It requires me to stay home any time he is not with me ..just in case his school should need me. You can't imagine the pain of hearing your Dr saying "There's nothing else to do". I thank God for giving me the strength to speak up and say "What about a new experimental protocol?". And I'm grateful for the grace to teach my son that he is doing all CAH-affected people a favor by doing the experiment...I have had to alter my thinking of how a 4 year old 'should' be, because he has the hormone levels of a 16 year old in a 7 year old body all mixed with a 4 year old's mentality. Most of the time I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude that wonderful, special little boy that has such admirable strength is actually mine.....other times I feel completely inadequate as his Mommy. God has given us each other, I trust that He made the right decision. I am grateful that I got what I prayed for. I have learned so much about who I am and I'm pleased with the results:o) So far, I have kept up with his needs. He knows how precious he is to us, and he knows that we were chosen to be a family :o) Please give your children an extra hug and let them know how much they mean to you.... I wrote this late one night why I was having one of those heart-to-hearts with God about "Why me?" I felt 100% better after I read it. I have had many people suggest that I get it printed somewhere, but I don't know about that. Thanks for reading it. Selena