Barbara, I can't even see the board through my tears for you. I know that there is nothing that I can say to take the pain away. I know what you mean by the elephant sitting on your chest. When I lost a loved one I felt the exact same thing and that doesn't even compare to the loss of an innocent little child. Please surround yourself with people that you know and love and let them help you through this tough time. Try to remember the wonderful things that you did together and allow yourself to find happiness in those memories. Remember, you have two other children who love and need you very much. God works in mysterious ways and some are very hard to understand. I will pray for you and your family and hope that God helps you to find your way through this tragedy. Your daughter is now an angel and she will be helping to guide you through all the tough spots. I am so, so sorry.