Lynn, you are quite honestly describing the story of my life with the term "extreme startle reflex". Everyone close to me knows about it. New work-mates soon learn about it.

I can be standing in front of a lift, the doors open, and I jump 10 feet in the air (perhaps screaming) because there were people inside, and I wasn't concentrating, and all of a sudden I see them. VERY embarrassing for me, and can you imagine what it's like for the people in the lift?.

My family had to walk around the house whistling to let me know where they were when I was growing up. My husband still has to do it if he thinks he's going to catch me unawares. Even now, if a family member "suddenly appears" I'm 10 feet in the air. A scream usually goes with the jumps. Occasionally, I'm so surprised that the adrenaline surge (it is HUGE) makes me trembly and near tears.

I can be sitting at my work desk typing, someone walks in and says "Kate...", and I'm 10 foot in the air again, letting out a loud scream.

I find it VERY boring and blaze now. When it happens, I just want to brush it off and keep going. It's happened to me literally hundreds of times. It's no longer amusing. It's just what happens, it's me, and it's an irritation more than anything. It is SO routine now I find it boring. The problem, however, is that I have usually just scared the pants off whoever came into my room so badly, that THEY need a few minutes to get over the shock.

As you can imagine, there's been lots of queries as to "why". My personal theory is that I get VERY intensely caught up in what I'm doing, don't concentrate on what's going on around me, and get taken by surprise. My mind seems to zero in on one thing, and gets startled by the unexpected. (The other - lesser - theory is eyesight. I won't bore you with details, but one eye is stronger than the other. Can your son read up close with both eyes equally well?) Incidentally, I had bad dreams as a child (now gone), still grind my teeth at night (just seen the dentist recently!), and still find episodes of Lassie WAY too stressful (I'm in tears in no time). I am a comedy / romance movie girl! Just to reassure you, I am "normal" (!), intelligent (?!), have no mental health issues, enjoy work, have a happy family blah, blah, blah!

The main thing is how can you best deal with it?

- After a big startle I am FULL of adrenaline. Trembly, teary, shakey, heart pounding, breathing fast etc. The best thing people can do is make as little a deal of it as possible, and give me time for my body to get over the surge of adrenaline. Family are wonderful, and good friends are soon as bored as you are - strangers however, can't help themselves. Young kids are obviously being cruel, and should be chastised. That episode you describe has nothing to do with your son - those other kids were being shockers.

- Try little things to let him know where you are in the house if you think you might startle him (whistling etc). Try to reassure him that he's perfectly normal, this is just him, and try to help him think of little ways to deal with it. It may go on for the rest of his life - and it's no big deal.

- I suppose it's easy as an adult to understand the effects of adrenaline on the body, harder for a little child I guess. Perhaps explain to him what's happening (exaggerated "flight or fight" response etc), and help him come to terms with relaxing more, and dealing with the frights.

Anyway, this has been a total rave. But it is just so much the story of my life I had to contribute. I guess it could be related to me being a carrier, but I suspect, really, it's "just me" - and your son maybe! Good-luck.

Kate.