I was just thinking about the same thing. My daughter is fighting a bladder infection once again. This is why I don't cope well when my daughter does get sick because I can't get past the thoughts of what can happen if something does go wrong. I have just sobbed reading Rena's post. I have to say that everyday I know I am looking at a blessing when I look at my three year old's precious face. CAH can make you feel very vulnerable to your child's and your own mortality. There are days it can be a very odd blessing. I believe I see my child in almost a "golden" light. One that I feel without having a special need, I would not see so clearly. I cherish her every breath. I "drink" in her every being. Then there are days that it can feel like it lurks in my daughter's shadow waiting for an illness to strike. I still ask why. Why should ANY child be put through any kind of pain, hunger, or disease. That has been my thoughts lately as my daughter prepares for another cystoscopy. I pray a lot. It are days like today on the board when that is all I have. It is something I will be doing after I log off tonight for Rena and her family. We do the best we can do with our children. Sometimes it just isn't fair. I wish I had some words of wisdom today but I am tapped out. Just know, you are all not alone when it comes to being scared. Blessings to all.