I feel so gulity telling you this but I couldn't even finsih your story with out calling my own four year old over to hold him tight and tell him how very very much mommy loves him.

My heart aches for your loss and the sorrow is immense. I can't not even imagine how you feel right now.

Saturday was my birthday and I turned 35. I spent the entire day feeling sorry for myself that nobody even my family seemed to remember.

Now I sit here feeling selfish for feeling sorry for me when your had lost a most precious gift. I am so sorry.

I know I lost a nephew at 5 months old and  I remember wondering how the entire world could just go on living when I felt so terrable. I thought (I was 16 at the time) that everyone should feel like I did. Miserable!

It's not fair and it should not happen but you had no warning and no idea. The scarey thing is that you did everything just the way that I would have if it were me. And I wonder what I would do if it were me?

All I can say is pray and take it all to God he can do some real amazing things even if  you might not think so right now.He will heal you to the point that you can be healed .

There is much love here in these boards for you so come and talk since it seems like that will help. Nobody will ever get tired of listening .

With love and prayers.