How come there is not some kind of understanding to BOTH of these sides? Like I posted above? Trying to find a solution like Lynn said that combines these two sides? My goodness. It seems we are all under attack for the choices that were made. Unless you have walked in a parent's shoes that has a daughter with  ambiguious genitalia, you should not assume you know what we endured.  As I do not assume that your life was any easier because your surgery was performed incorrectly. As I said above, saying surgery should not be performed is taking the rights away from the individuals that have had it done correctly and are greatful.  NEVER did I think of myself when having this surgery done. No, I take that back. I prayed and begged God as I do EVERYDAY that I could trade places with her. You continue to attack the parents that made this choice as if  we made this choice out of our own selfishness. IF you are blessed enough to have a child you know that there is NO room for selfishness when it comes to raising a child. I take GREAT offense to say I made this choice for my daughter because I was SELFISH! Your comment on "pleasing" for the parent is so, not true. It literally brings tears to my eyes that someone thinks this choice for my daughter was in the end to "please" myself or anyother parent.  It was a choice that I made for my daughter because I felt at that time and still do, it was going to best choice for her life. To please me?  Absolutely not. I just cannot believe you cannot come to some equal ground on this subject so your efforts will help all instead of a percentage. Do you think one parent would EVER want their child's surgery to turn out wrong? I know you are thinking, "If I can just ban all surgeries for all the little girls of the world with ambiguous genitalia, than they would never endure the pain I had to." And I am behind you 100% on that but Joan, how about all the little girls that are enduring just as much pain because they never had the surgery done that were so enlarged they felt they had a penis? Believe it or not they are out there. Don't you want to help ALL the little girls? Perhaps by agreeing to finding a solution for both sides you feel you are abandoning your goal. You are not. I feel it is just enhancing the goal you already set by having a larger positive outcome than it was going to have anyway. Peace.