I wanted to clarify one thing. I noticed there is also an assumption that this surgery is done purely for cosmetic reasons. These are my thoughts about that assumption. Getting a nose job done is a cosmetic reason. Getting a tummy tuck is a cosmetic reason. Having braces, a cosmetic reason. Having my daughter's genitals operated on I felt will give her a sense of feeling femine not masculine. I did not do it so she "looked" good. I did so she could feel confident about herself as the female God intended her to be. I know her clitoris that was enlarged was NOT a penis. But that does not help her that I feel that way. I put myself in her shoes. If I had a clitoris that looked like a penial structure I could not help but to be confused too. Do I want that for my daughter? Notice I said, do I want that for MY daughter-- not do I want that for me.  That was my thoughts, not gee I can't look at her because she is "deformed". I felt it would benefit her in the long run mentally. A nose does not make you feel like a man or a woman. Having your tummy tucked does not make you feel like a man or a woman. I (not you because I do not push MY beliefs on anyone. IT IS YOUR CHOICE to have surgery or not.) I as my daughter's parent put myself in her shoes. I thought long and hard about her entire life. I thought to myself about how one feels about thier body. Starting my period was dramatic to me. Yes I had a wonderful supportive mother that sat me down and explained, but to find out you are going to bleed once a month just was not right in my mind. Call it immaturity whatever. I felt awkward with these new "boobies" of mine, and cramps and what not. I could not imagine adding the stress of having her make up her mind if she would want surgery or not at such a vulnerable age. I could not even bring myself to decide on what maxi pad I was going to use and was mortified to have my mother ask me in the middle of the store which kind I would like. NOT only with that in mind I also thought about what she would feel like with this penial looking structure. I don't care how much I talk to her about how this is her body and she SHOULD except it the way she was given it. I felt all the positve talk in the world was not going to take away from the fact society insists a boy has a penis (which I KNOW THIS IS AN ENLARGED CLITORIS) and a girl has a vagina. No one said this world is perfect. And we as parents try to give them the greatest foundation we can.  To me it would not matter what my mother said, I just would not feel right having this penial looking structure and feeling feminine. I feel it would be a constant battle in my mind. Being a teenager is NOT easy. As parents we have to realize that our little innocent faces will grow up to be a teen. An independent, don't kiss me goodbye in public human beings. They will not only have the pressures of being a teen riding on their back but I thought if given this added problem would only make being a teen that much harder. A time when sexuality is THE thing. Hormones are raging at that age. I do remember, I was a teen believe it or not. I took that into consideration. I took into consideration that later in her life if she wanted to enlarge her vagina more if it needs to be, then it would require surgery but I felt it would be easier on her mentally than saying at this time we need to construct a vagina for you. Do I want my daughter growing up to think she was supposed to be a male because she pees out this penial looking structure? Hell no. Am I against lesbians? No. If she grows up to be a lesbian I would be crushed to see her have to endure a life of prejuduce but I would not love her any less. Do I want her to have the best starting foundation for a life of being straight (a heteralsexual (sp?). I have thought long and hard about the drive that the people who are HUGE advocates for this intersexed group. I thought about why they keep pushing the issue of the rights to not have surgery done on these CAH girls when their chromosomes clearly show they are girls. I get the feeling they are fighting for the surgery to not be performed because in thier minds our girls should have been boys. I don't see a concern of the surgery possibly physically hurting them that the other advocates against surgery have.(Of whom I respect for thier thoughts) But don't push this intersex stuff on me for that reason. Who decided to go against chromosomes rule. Where will this stop? If you sport a mustache (which mamy women do) will they insist you are intersexed? If these CAH girls are all supposed to be the same sex (intersexed )then how about the cases in which Dex was used? They have the same chromosomes as the next CAH girl that did not have Dex in utero. SO have these intersex groups caved into the small minded society that if it looks like a penis than it must be a penis? The neotologist explained to me I had a girl. She did not say I have a girl with a penis. Or since she was exposed to androgens this makes her a male. That sounds like thinking from the 1940's. They clearly told me, CLEARLY that IF my child was found to be a hermaphrodite (BOTH SEXES) we would have to choose what sex the infant would be. The endocronologist came back and said because of ALL her female reproductive organs AND chromosomes she was indeed female, NOT a hermaphrodite. I truly cannot imagine the complete horror a new mother or father OR teen looking for support on this board will feel like when they are done reading this board. If it isn't hard enough to take in the fact your child will live a life with this medical condition called what? CAH? That is what they are thinking. If it was not tramatic enough to have a child born with ambiguious genitalia, then to have a staff of 15 doctors poor into your delivery room soon after the birth of your child to have them surround your bed and start talking medical terms you never knew existed, while the other staff members wisk your newborn away to NICU. To turn to a board for comfort to find these angry words and assumptions made. I can only hope they do not turn away from the goodness of this board. The benefits of finding out how to medicate properly. How to administer Solu-Cortef as a life saving measure. To make sure all your options for surgery are presented fairly to you. The important stuff. Keeping them alive and healthy. I have seriously thought about throwing in the towel from discust like the many others have done and leave the board for good. I feel I cannot turn away for that reason. To continue to preach the gosphel of Solu-Cortef. To give a voice to the parents who choose surgery and give the parents deciding to have or not to have surgery done, my thoughts on why I decided to have my daughter's done and give them something to weigh NOT TO SCARE OR SHAME THEM INTO. So as  much as it hurts from the personal comments made, I aint' going anywhere. PEACE.