Beth,

My heart goes out to you. 

Aimee, L, and the others make a very good point.  Your son, while it may be difficult for you to realize (I'm 37 and my mom still calls me her little baby...) is an adult.  He will, and can do what he wants, and live his life as he sees fit.

You might try to reason with him that at the very least he wears a med-alert because if he does suffer trauma, he will likely go into an adrenal crisis and die without any one knowing why until an autopsy or you receive that dreadful call that no parent wants to get. At least with a med-alert there might be the opportunity to avert a crisis.  You might also want to clue his pals in on what is happening to your son.  As Shawn pointed out, they may be able to reason with him more than his family.  Kids being kids, it's likely that if he were to suffer trauma, one of his pals would be with him.  They would be able to pass on to the rescue workers the basics of his condition. Does he have a close sibling that can talk to him? 

I would also highly recommend  immediate professional counseling for both you.   Seperately, but maybe with the same therapist  He probably doesn't really give a hoot about what you think right now, but may be open to the possibility of having someone help him work out his anger. If he won't go, you still go by yourself or with he rest of your family.  I am also willing to guess that he is also suffering from clinical depression.

Cheryl Chase at ISNA.org maintains a great database of therapists that are versed in CAH issues.  You can contact her through www.isna.org  She is very good at getting back quickly.   Please do it as soon as possible, for both yourself and your son. 

Please keep us updated on your son's condition.