Dear Beth,

Thanks again for reposting and giving us more information into Kevin. I wish I could tell you what goes through a CAHer's mind. I had thought it was just me, but after spending time with my brother (whom has CAH) and reading others' assorted stories, there really is a common theme. For me, there was/is alot of self hate, frustration, and a bevy of other emotions (good and bad) all flooding in together at any given time. It is true that I now love myself and can accept others, but it took alot of control over the years and I really do not have any good memories of being 18. I'm sure Kevin does not want to take his meds. I am also sure, whether he knows or not, this is his cry for help. I maybe wrong but, I would think he needs love in a big way, because he has none from and/or for himself. I hope this makes sense. I am not so sure that Kevin can really sort out all his thoughts. If I was looking back at myself and had to deal with me, I would be relentless and unwavering. It seems that what really works is someone, whom while telling you they love you and can't exist without you along with a logical course of action, is irrestistable. Recently I had to talk my brother down. Whilst his wife wanted to take him to a Psychologist and my mother wanted him to take some tranquilizers (each being worried about his rantings) I simply stated that he was headed for a adrenal crisis (obvious to me), he needed more meds to think straight (Dex doesn't work as effectively when you are depressed, as per a biological psychology book I have), there was nothing else wrong. He had been taking the regular amount, but he is a big guy and had been pushing it lately. Knowing this, relieved his anxiety over his condition. After taking extra, he was soon down to normal, the paranoia and muscle contractions gone. I am not saying that Kevin should not see a counsellor, I'm trying to point out that the lack of meds and/or fluctuations is creating a different Kevin. Really. I don't believe in personality changing drugs, but geez, and 18 year old has enough hormones blasting away. The meds are just stabilizing them into acceptable perametres. Can you talk to him about his crazy emotions? I'm sure he doesn't  like them. Try to point out, he is at their mercy and really in less control without meds than with. Try to get him to remember being happy/stable as oposed to doing things he really never would have if he were on the meds.

Well... keep us posted.

L.