You are correct!  I certainly did not intend to be interpreted as if both parties in a divorce don't have contributing factors.  I think I was trying to convey a mother's perspective (or primary caregivers) to Douglas that might not have been considered.  Thanks for pointing that out.  I, personally, want my son's caregivers to be a tiny bit scared so that they will not blow off minor things.  Those of us who have just sent our kids off to public school know how vulnerable it feels very recently.   "What if........."