Thanks for saying what I wanted to say above to Douglas.  I ended up deleting it out and scaled it down.  I do think Douglas should be able to ask what he wants as long as he is not hurting anyone.  If no one replies, then no one knows of a way to help, right?  I think he is on the defensive already.  He does not need that here as well.  And we don't know the full story here.  My parents divorced when I was 12.  Did they do it all right?  No.  Did they do most of it right?  YES!  My mother could have moved us away to where her family lived 1000 miles away.  She didn't want to remove my father from my life.  Was she always complementary of him in my presence?  No.  But it balanced out in the long run.  My parents share time with their grandchildren as opposed to different times.  They are adults about it and I can enjoy their company in the same room.  My kids have no clue what divorce can really be like.  We are blessed.

It is my hope for Douglas that he and his ex-wife find a balance.  Find a way not to lay blame.  Find a way to trust enough so that a little boy can benefit from the love and nurturing a mother as well as a father can bring.  Children need both.