Well, I agree with you that the bonding issue is a bunch of baloney!  I have a four month old with CAH whom I was told at birth that she was a he.  She does not resemble a female child at all, so the situation I deal with is not JUST an enlarged clitoris.  She is completely virilized, no doctors, NO ONE suspected anything until the ultra sound (to look for testicles that had not descended) revealed a uterus and ovaries.  Needless to say, as shocking as that revelation was to the very core of my being, my love for her TRIPLED on that day.  Not only is her condition a rare one, but she is a rarity herself due to the degree of virilization within the walls of CAH.  I realize my absolute blessing when I hold her in my arms, but realize how very precious and special she really is!  How wonderful!  I love this little precious being more than life itself and cherish the fact that I have her.  I am humbled and honored that the Lord himself saw fit to choose my husband and I as guardians of her soul in this lifetime.  BUT, I AM preparing for her surgery which will be taking place within a few short weeks.  Faced with the fact that there are many issues, medically as well as psychologically that I will have to contend with, I made what I felt was the best decision for her.  NO ONE, I repeat, NO ONE can predict the future outcome, merely they can offer their opinions based on personal accounts, so I went surgery based on all the very important information provided by the fine people on this board, taking into account all personal accounts of peoples trials, tribulations and successes.  I also agree with you that there should be some sort of support system in place, thank heaven for this board, but it took me sometime to find it, and reeling from what I had to accept at that time, it would have been nice for the hospital social worker to have given me this sites address.  As far as I know, there are no attempts (from Doctors) to bring our families together.  I think the whole issue of ambiguous genitalia is still somewhat "taboo" in our society, and although we do have this site to come to and discuss issues, it is something that many are TOO uncomfortable to talk about.  I look at it like this, if you are depressed, you seek help, if you are not, you continue on your merry way through life.  I have talked with those CAH women who are absolutely fine with their surgeries as well as those who are not, so, if there are many out there who do not feel cheated or appalled about surgery, and those who do, whom does one believe?  This posting is not meant to strike a match or spark a heated debate, I mean no harm, and frankly, I am satisfied and comfortable with my decision.  And, again, for the record, I could not love my child any less, she is an angel in my eyes.