I don't know quite what it is about this topic that touches people so deeply and stirs up trouble.  I certainly don't think that anyone wasted their time in putting their views forward though. 

Shaun I wish there was a site too that parents could go to to read and gain support.  We have had the Joan and the John story though.  Now what we need is a Joan, Joanne, Johanna and Jonetta story site.  The stories of the four different girls that took the two different paths in cah life and the four different outcomes (i.e. the surgery-good outcome, surgery-bad outcome, non-surgery good outcome, the non-surgery bad outcome---IF there is one!)  Perhaps Danny could make a separate message board for all to visit to put down their views down and then close it up like a time capsule?  Then when other parents come to the message board, instead of us all opening up the same old wounds we can just give them the URL and our e mail for questions after?

I didn't like to become involved in the debate at all until I read this:

Please do not make snap judgements about MY PSYCH. damage.  I am quite comfortable with her as well as myself, and fine lady, DO NOT NEED COUNSELLING.  I have no damage, but, sounds as if you do?  I'm quite sorry, but there is no need, nor enough evidence presented to me to warrent any reconsideration.  Thanks again for your wise advice! I really do appreciate it.  Kaye

Personally, I cannot think of one reason to NOT have counselling in all this.  I cover the reasons below.  ALL parent's need it and should have it 'before' they make any decisions about their childs treatment.

The comment above  seemed like a very personal comment to make to someone whom I feel must be very well adjusted.  That is the point where decided to post here.  To  lend some support those that want to take the 'no surgery' options but feel pressured by what society and the majority of information about cah advises. These parents do exist. 

The  psychological aspects are going to be there later in life for these girls anyway and if some parents are having the surgery done for their daughters because they wish to avoid putting their daughters through such, then all many people want to point out here is that it is not as simple as that, and that the psychological issues and counselling are still needed later on---even when surgery has been done.  There is infertility and menstrual irregularity and other problems to contend with in some girls (also due to the surgeries and being affected sexually by them ) because they were so severely affected by androgens not just outwardly, but internally also.  CAH is a condition that occurs in many differing severities and can affect the normal development internally not just externally.  

 I know that a lot of parents use the message board who have the same difficult decision ahead of them, so in posting here I guess to the likes of Betsy or Noelle or others including myself here, it was not totally addressed to just Kaye or any "Anonymous."   I felt that other's may need to read "all" the options and the pro's and the con's that is all. 

Kaye, you have made your decision and that is good.  

I can see that some parents become upset and stirred to anger, but I don't feel that really is the intention of the people who take the "Anti-Surgery" stance here.  Time after time we see this addressed on the message board and still with the same outcome---ANGER.   I guess that that is something that a lot of these cah girls will be feeling in years to come 'anyhow' as they discover themselves in adulthood.  In fact I would imagine that this doesn't even hold a candle to their anger when they discover that something has been robbed from them.  I guess I just try to put myself in their shoes and imagine these things and that is about enough for me to know what I would do.