That's a litle cloak and dagger isn't it?  Isn't the answer to that question the one that all parent's that have to contemplate surgery need to see here?  I know one thing for sure, I would want to know the answer.  It needs to be here on the board for all parents to see and read.  Why?  Because deep down inside---at the back of our minds---this is the question we all have festering there about this surgery and "Just Curious" is only putting in this thread what everyone secretly wants to know.  Surely there is nothing that is not important that we cannot all have the benefit from knowing about here.  You'l see from the posts I made about this issue, that I have studied this well.  If there is a reason why appearance could possibly be coming before sexual sensation in all this, I would certainly want to know what it was as a parent who needs to contemplate this.  I don't  feel we should bury our heads in the sand on this subject.  Even ones contemplating surgery right now must surely want the answer here?  By not putting it here, we are turning this into some sort of guessing game everytime a parent has to consider it.  Do we do these things early or do we leave them until later?  The answer I feel is critical if it comes to affecting a young girls sexual life and her relationships or quality of life and anything else that happens to her!!  I must admit Aimee, I have read the posts on other message boards so it somewhat leaves me confused.  Should these children have this operation when they are babies OR NOT?  It is a simple question that this person has asked you?  Is it worth all the sacrifice---that is the question that many parent's have lurking in the back of their minds here for you.  That is why this topic is so toxic on the message board.  It get's discussed so far and then everyone all shuts up after there has been one almighty free for all with different opinions and insults---but the same question is still festering in the backs of parents minds afterwards?  Will this ruin my daughters life when she grows up?  I for one would love to see this answered here--if there are people that use this board that have had these surgeries.  Anonymous or otherwise would be great.  That is why this board exists.  No one should be avoiding this issue and everyone should be contributing.  "So what" that I do not have a daughter with CAH!  Does it mean I cannot understand others pain and suffering?  Do I have to go through some secret initiation process before I contribute?  Are some saying here that I would have done things any differently if my 13 yr old daughter had had serious virilziation?  

So often I see religious quotes on this message board.  Didn't Jesus suffer so that other's wouldn't?  I have never been nailed to a cross but I know what it must have felt like.   I may be considered an "Arm Chair " doctor here, but whilst there are people teetering on the edge of the pot, I'm here doggy paddling in the bubbling stuff (up to my neck in it actually), with my arm chair strapped to my butt and shouting instructions out over my shoulder as I go---for the benefit of those that need it.  Why?  Because I am trying to stop parents from going where we have the last 12 months is one good reason for a start where I am concerned!  If I can prevent just one kid having the problems we have had by educating their parent's---that in itself is enough for me!  I have no other motive.  I do not seek to hurt people, and I don't necessarily feel that people have to be answering my questions on the board either.  It would be nice, but not necessary.  I don't like being referred to as an arm chair doctor, but it's my business why I am here helping folks---and having an opinion.  Like someone said, life and this message board would be pretty boring without diversity.  Here it is---like it or lump it!  I don't want a gold medal for it---just my knowing someone is gaining something in terms of knowledge is enough.  See that query there about asthma?  I sat here for hours yesterday wondering why no one would answer.  Maybe it's because people despise me for what I have to say?  Maybe it's because I am the nagging voice in the back of most parents head that they quosh when they need to tell themself something positive? I have no idea.  I just like people to see "other" aspects to an argument is all or the other solution to a problem.  Does that make me an ogre?  Does that make me an arm chair doctor?  I learned about "all" aspects of cah so that I could help people on here as well as derive support and friendship  from others.

I asked myself why I come here and it is because I can.  Why do I involve myself in a thread when I have no daughter with CAH.  Because I can!  Because I am knowledgeable.  I know what I would do, without being confronted with it.  You all know what you would do.  It isn't necessary to offend people to "help" them or answer their questions but many do! 

JH