To Aimee, Apologies, I think there were some misunderstanding. I am speaking broadly for many women who had the surgeries like yourself and oppose them. They feel that they would have liked the opportunity to be counselled. Things become more complicated later nayway or did for them and they then had to have additional counselling around the loss for themselves. I have put this URL here for other's to refer to. One story anyway, so that I can give an example here: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/0,,72-2001220067,00.html Now when I read this and then I read your comments here in and on the other Message Board, it is confusing me for too. There are obviously times when you do feel upset about this reading those. I do not mean to dredge these things up, but I guess other parent's see you post here only and feel you are ok with what has happened. Many (not just myself) feel that counselling is a good idea for these children. Not just the one who need surgery--also for parents. Counselling builds self esteem but also it helps you to analyze everything. The type of counselling suggested at: www.isna.org In section 7 on the standards for treatment for girls with ambiguous genitalia is what I am referring to here. It mentions that counselling should be offered for parent's at birth, then at aged 2 to 3 or before school and at various times prior to surgery and then in adolescence. It recommends other things amongst that but I presume that the counselling is to iron out any issues around the none surgery choice and figure out ways to deal with any problems that crop up. I.e. at birth, parents dealing with their babies diagnosis are entitled to counselling. It does not mean they are lacking something where inner strength is concerned. Just that this diagnosis often comes as a tremendous shock and as it is so rare, you don't often get the chance to meet other parents and talk through your problems. You need help to discuss fears and apprehensions at those times that i the past has simply not been available. I am one of these types of parent's that feel that prior to adolescence (aged 14) that all children (whether they have cah or not) should be supervised at all times by an adult. I think it is a requirement by law anyway. This means that for some, being exposed to negativity isn't something that would crop up in any case. For example, I would not let my kids play out in without adult supervision under the age of 14 years---so the issues around seeing other children doing certain things was not be a problem for myself. They were always with me or another adult. On our bathroom door we had a lock and all the children used it for the sakes of privacy. In putting up obstacles for surgery, we can always get around them to take the non-surgery path. I don't mean to say that other's opting for surgery for children were wrong. Just that if parents see these solutions to various problems, they can maybe consider a different approach to all this. I feel you answered my question in a roundabout way---I can see that you did not have counselling as a child. I wonder if this changed as an adult perhaps before the surgery at 21? Again I do not mean to pry or push here, it is just that a lot of adults see you post on these issues and want to know both sides of the story and why people came to their decisions.