This is a very interesting thread to read.

Of course there are adult CAH women who are happy and satisfied with their lives! It's the protocol of early genital surgery that we have issues with... not our lives! We don't come to Danny's World to tell about our most recent accomplishments or to provide the recipe to Grandma's pie. We're here because we implicitly understand the issues that your daughters will face alone when they no longer fit tightly in your arms. You look at your child wondering what really is the best to do for her. We look at your daughters as the women they will become, knowing all too well the road they will travel.

We come here (most of us anyway) not to simply release anger and to vent. We come because we believe that the medical community does not provide you (the parents of CAH children) with all of the most recent and relevant information regarding the treatment of your child. They may tell you, but then add, "but if I were you; if I had a child who looked like this..." Does anger find its way into our words? Of course, but our anger is not about what was done to us, but rather what you are considering doing to your beautiful daughters. Yes, that does make us angry... and sad... very much so. Kaye should know that I lit a candle for her daughter on the Monday her surgery was performed... in memory of another child changed forever; in honor of the life struggles she will endure.

What we believe is this: genital surgery is too complex to perform on young children and infants. A body whose genitals are surgically altered should have a mind that is mature enough to understand the issues. There is proof that these early surgeries do profound harm, regardless of your intent to only to the best possible for your child.

To address some of the specific thoughts voiced in this thread...

We are not resentful about life. We are resentful about the shame and secrecy surrounding early genital surgery that is hoisted upon every parent and child.

ONE OUT OF EVERY TWO THOUSAND babies are born with unusual genitalia.That is an astounding figure considering no one has ever heard about it until that baby is their own. Each incident is so cloaked in secrecy when in actuality it is the MOST COMMON birth abnormality.

You don't die from it, you simply look a bit different to those you are intimate with. I for one was always glad my genitals were not a visible difference to the world at large, and thanked God that someone had invented modesty long before I arrived.

No child is ever doomed... in fact the CAH women I have met are without exception dynamic, smart, witty and over-acheivers. Your daughters would do well to grow up just like us.

To the post from the mother of three with another on the way... it's not obnoxious to say life is good. My life is good too, but your post doesn't indicate how you feel about your surgeries (if you had them). Do you/have you ever spoke openly of your experiences with your parents? Husband? Closest friends? Or do you simply consider that past just that? If your expected child is a girl born with CAH, would you have her undergo the surgeries?

I am here posting on this board when time allows... when I'm not volunteering at school, heading to soccer practices, the supermarket,  running my business or doing the thousand things we do each day as caring parents. My time is precious, but I believe so deeply about the issues of early genital surgery that I come to add whatever I can. I and the other CAH women who post here are at the forefront of change. The protocol regarding these surgeries is changing. Like dominos, medical "experts" are toppling because early surgeries are risky and unnecessary (except where medically...). The "normalizing" surgeries performed in the next several years will be the last. Medical history will note with sorrow and awe how we continued this barbaric practice far too long.

We also know this:  If projections are correct, there are between 60,000 and 100,000 women in the U.S.A. between the ages of 15 and 50 who probably are too ashamed (or too repressed) to find their voices regarding their own bodies. We are being activists for them as well because the feeling of thinking you are the only one in the world with this issue is isolating and damaging.

We hope that by the time your daughters grow into their teens that this topic is no longer taboo; that they won't feel the shame and inadequecy of those before them. 

Our aim is true. Our intent is to educate and to change thought and protocol regarding early genital surgeries.

Love your children as they are and they will also love themselves.