Carol,

     That a doctor can every say such a thing to a mother is horrible!  I know, we went through the same thing.  Her child has a life threatening illness and he doesn't have the time to discuss his treatment!!  Your daughter should be outraged.  The number one thing you can do for your grandchild is to find a doctor who will take the time to answer your questions.  YOU and your daughter have to be his #1 advocate.  You have to be asssertive, you need to find another endocrinologist.   It doesn't matter if the doctor is a nice person they have to know what they are doing in regards to treating CAH.   It should be a huge red flag when a doctor says such thing.  A good doctor does not answer questions posed by his patients in such a manner.  Do not just follow the doctors advice because you are in a comfort zone with the particular doctor or because he has treated the child since birth.    If you are not comfortable with something  don't disregard your feelings.

       The doctor is right people on this board are not professional..  They weren't taught it in med school, they live it everyday with their child.  Experience speaks volumes.  He doesn't have a child who he is watching stuggle with this.  He won't have to answer your childs questions when he is older about why he is the way he is.   The doctor should be the one directing our childrens care but with our input.  They are missing their #1 diagnositic tool when they fail to listen to the parents and children.  It is sad and frustrating.  I get upset everytime I here of a doctor acting in such a manner regarding CAH.   Please be assertive, please find a doctor who will be your advocate!