I found that taking deep breaths during the time peroid that I'm starting to boil over really helped me alot. When I was small, somone would say clam down take a deep breath and after awhile it just became a subconsious thing that I did to calm myself.

 I  work in the food service industry and during season, I walk through the kitchen taking alot of deep breaths. Also, I had a manager that would try to make me laugh when I was mad, he never got mad along with me. I could never keep my hissy- fit up for long, his joking always changed my emotion state. You can't be mad when it doesn't bother the other person. Mind you, during one of my fits I flung food across the floor in the back of the eatery. My boss would say .....geez Aimee ...what got stuck in your craw ? You look silly picking that food off the floor, baby doll. He would say this all with a gentle mocking southern drawl.( He was annoyed but he knew it won't help to escalate the situation) Usually after this, I would feel silly and try hard not to do stuff like that because I wanted to please him because he accepted that this was a part of my personality but he also showed me how silly it was to lose my cool. Maybe, this story could somehow help a parent with a 4 year old.

Aimee