Hi Janet, I have a 7yr old son he had terrible emotional meltdowns, I commend you on your ability to remain calm, my son used to curl up on my lap after a meltdown and tell me his mind went black and he literally could not stop himself. I also notice spikes of moodiness, aggression and anxiety when he is due for his monthly Lupron injection. It is a challenge for a parent when you experience these outbursts because they truly seem to come from nowhere, almost a dual child. Do you notice that the majority of outbursts are not triggered by a visible stimulus? I can only compare this to my monthly bouts of dreaded PMS. I tried so many tactics and read too many books, the main thing I find works is, I have a box and fill it with things Spencer likes to do,for example, clay,lego,puzzles,etc. When I see an episode coming I take Spencer by the hand and without talking we get his box, he chooses one thing and sits down at he table with me and starts to play, this relaxes him and diffuses a potential tantrum. I change the items every week so it continues to excite him.Around the holiday’s you can fill it with crafts for your daughter to make and give for gifts. I hope this works for you, I know it saved my sanity.I can forward on some of the resources I have also found helpful. It is equally important for you to take care of yourself, have a night out or a day at the spa "mommys day" I am a single mother and went a year without a day to myself. My children and I sat down and planned my first "mommys night" it was only a visit to Chapters to read and unwind, to me it was a beach in the Barbados. My batteries recharged and I was better able to cope with the bad days.