I have Chloë, but she is from my first marraige.   Chloë and Bruce wanted another girl in our family but I did not produce the goods.  In trying twice after Aran we had boys.  So I have four sons and one daughter.  Ashley and Chloë’s father lives in the UK.  I remarried when I emigrated to New Zealand.  Bruce was disappointed that we were having another boy the last time we tried, but unfortunately we did not have a choice.

I guess sometimes we are too open with situations that do not need to ever come to light where our kids are concerned.  I would not feel bad about choosing to avoid having another CAH child.  I am quite sure that if it were something that offended CAH’ers to hear, they would be commenting here.  An egg dies every month when we ovulate.  In fact only five of mine have ever been fertilised in my life so far.  All the others came away naturally.  I would not feel one bit guilty about someone taking several of them and sifting through to find an healthy egg.  However, I would feel reluctant to try for more children if there was a 1 in 4 chance that the next one could have CAH.  I don’t think it would make Ashley feel less special.  I would just explain that he is special and that I want to be able to reserve my whole attention where CAH is concerned just for him rather than divide it between many other CAH children.  I only have one CAH child and that is enough to cope with given that there is so much ignorance and that although they explained at birth that it was ok and treatable, in reality, the treatment and monitoring is in essence improving all the time and probably not as good as it could be.

I have a ten year old son that has been grossly affected.  I did at one time think it was no big deal but since learning from his records the last year that effectively NONE of his treatment is or ever has been as it should be, it has affected my feelings where having another CAH child is concerned.  I could cope with one no problem, and would HAVE to, but if there was a way of avoiding it happening for another child, I would.  Especially a daughter.  I mean I could cope with virilisation and all that, but it was always my thought that if there was a real possibility that that could happen, that I would not have anymore children with my then partner full stop.  The only reason I went on to have three more children after Ashley, was because I remarried and the chances of him having the recessive gene were 1 in 50.  Remote. :)  Had I been with the same partner,  would not have bothered.  If I had been desperate for another child at some point, I would have insisted on IVF.  I always did wonder back then WHY they were making women go through dex therapy when it was all totally avoidable.

I can can understand your view point whereby you feel it is not that bad, and that you would be willing to have dex, but in my situation, I would not ever of considered another child.  That is quite sad really.  Some couples choosing not to have other children when in fact they could have other children with assistance in the way of IVF.