Hi Sally, I like how you write "girl things" in quotations as I too dislike gender stereotypes.

I have the non-salt wasting form of CAH, and I was diagnosed when I was 6 years old which is 1-2 years later than the normal time of diagnosis these days. I had been hospitalized for the flu when I was in kindergarten and that should have been a clue to the doctors. I’m 25 years old now and am in my last year of my degree in physical education, with a minor in mathematics.

I didn’t not really have problems when I was much younger because I was involved in a number of sports (having the brief advantage of precocious puberty) and had my some relationships with girls. I was careful not to talk about "weird" things such as how much I liked a girl’s hair. Pink shirts were actually in style 13-14 years ago so when I wore by pink Vuarnet (brand) cycling shirts that was okay.

As far as treatment by other people, I am surprised all the time. It used to be in elementary school and high school that kids would mock other kids for anything but nowadays I don’t hear any comments, or don’t notice them. It all depends on my focus. Is the focus on what other people may be thinking, or preferably is it about enjoying/concentrating on whatever it is that I am doing.

I think it is important for boys and girls to just get involved with things/activities that interests them and to heck with what others think. Cultivate those interests by visiting the library, joining clubs, etc. Have you and your son ever seen the movie "Billy Elliot"? It’s a critically acclaimed film about a boy in a working class mining town who decides that he wants to be a ballet dancer regardless of the opinions of others. I think that it’s a great movie.  A friend of mine is a elite figure skater (competing in ice dancing) and he competes all over the world. As a young guy he was faced with ridicule from others but now he is very close to being selected to the Olympic team, is surrounded by beautiful women and is the envy of others. It’s the same with men in the fashion and cosmetic industries. If those men didn’t follow up on their own interests they wouldn’t have the great careers that they have today.

As for me, the effort I give towards my goals leads to a sense of confidence and the strength to do things my own way which others may be noticing and respecting. For example, I am not concerned with what classmates think of me when I get up in front my my university classes to make a presentation, because I know that I will present my material well and better than most. Plus I can lift more weight than many of the players on the football team (at a much lighter bodyweight), which creates a certain immunity to insult. I don’t tell you these things to boast; I’m just trying to explain how I feel just fine about being a non-typical male in a social environment such as sports/physical education where there is more pressure than usual for guys to be masculine.

Shaun