Normally this discussion would need to be on the Controversies board, but it seems that what you are specifically asking is perhaps not as much a part of the controversial bits of the debate. As long as the discussion stays within the medical/hygenic nature of the specific surgeries, I can’t see how it would evoke the same emotional reactions as a full discussion. From what I hear, you more or less agree with most of the ’No Surgery’ side in that you want only what’s medically necessary, but need to know the medical/hygenic results of that choice.

It sort of sounds like the doctors you are talking to are in the ’surgery’ camp, and maybe don’t comprehend the reasons some people have for wanting to hold off on it. Hopefully someone here will have more experience with it and can give you better advice, but you also might consider a second medical opinion, from a doctor that isn’t so gung ho on surgery, so you can better understand the real medical needs your daughter has.