Danny I was looking at the link you sent for the book because I am tired of being a doormat.  I have a huge list of my own family personal "to do’s" and things I try to do to help my children be better people.  I volunteer for things I genuinely want to do and can seldom muddle through to get things done in a timely manner because of all of the "emergency interruptions" for free daycare.  I want to make a point to say that I do follow through and finish things at some point, it is just much slower than people who are not hindered by such baggage. 

For instance, three years ago I had ten children in my home (including my own children) six of them were in diapers and under age 3.  It was remarkable that when their mothers came to pick them up they all had no idea that there would be so many other children there.  There was a Mormon ladies meeting down the street and because I am not Mormon they decided that it would be a nice Catholic thing for me to do "in the name of being a good Christian,"  if I could babysit.  One of those ladies was my friend, and she was the one that asked me to babysit her four children and her best friend’s two year old and infant.  Within 15 minutes I had my neighbor across the street’s kids because she was going through depression (she was hysterical and crying) and told me she could not handle them so she was going to go to get therapy (which I later found out was a day at the spa to get a manicure, pedicure, haircut and facial), and could she just get away for awhile because she had no one to turn to.  We don’t speak much anymore except pleasantries and weather.

I for one had to PAY for every cent of daycare by a registered and licensed daycare provider for my two children (before #3 was born) while I worked and went to night college in my early twenties.  It irks me that suddenly when I became a housewife so I could be more of a mother to my children and more of a wife to my husband that it instantly turned me into everyone else’s free daycare because I am "home anyway, what’s one more" in other people’s minds.  The words "homemaker" =  couch potato and bon bon eater in their minds.  Once one of my  friends from work asked me if I ever get "bored" of not working anymore.  I asked her "who says I’m not working anymore.  Just because my employment location changed didn’t mean my workload did."  To which she feebly apologized and quickly changed the subject.

Also, another thing that labels me as a doormat for being a housewife is that when I fill that out on forms for places of service (doctor’s office etc) they almost always make me wait behind a working mother because they say "we had to put them in front of you because the doctor is behind schedule and she has to get back to work."   As if I had no better place to be or schedule to keep.  I told them I did mind because I was carpool mom and it was my day to pick up.

I guess there is alot of long text behind my short point:  stay at home mom’s (or dad’s)  are just as hard workers as parents in the workplace.  I feel that it is more difficult though to not be a doormat in this situation of employment more so than any other.  That’s why I’m glad you sent the link, but when I was reading the reviews I couldn’t help but notice one of the negative one right on top.  How did you feel about the comments that particular mother made?  Do you agree or disagree?  I was looking for something along the lines of this book you suggested because I didn’t like what Dr. Phil had to say about human doormats:  they are manipulative people who will do anything to make people like them.  I disagree because I don’t ask people to call me up crying and begging for daycare.  In fact there I times I flat out tell them they are inconveniencing me and they say they know but continue to be pushy.  So it was welcoming to see another viewpoint offered.  I have to go give Savannah a piggyback to the table, she just woke up from nap and we have a date to fingerpaint because I promised her if she took a nap I would.

Thank you for your input,

AdinaH