I believe you need help. I teach Middle school and I see kids like you every day! I donít know what has made you soooo bitter; yes you have had it rough Iím sure, but life is good. God is good! Iím sorry you are so mad! Maybe you should try an antideppresant. Just a suggestion. I take paxil, and I love it. I never needed anything until I became a mother, and then my world totally changed. I was never sad; lots of people think if you take something like that it is for sadness, but I just became very anxious. Anyway I really wish you could become happier. About the raves, Iíve never been to one, but from what I have heard there is alot of drinking, drugs, and often sex. To me that is a bad party! I have always felt that people of have to drink and do drugs really hate themselves because they canít just be themselves and have fun. Now, Iím not a prude either because I love to have a drink every once in a while, but I am proud to say I have never been drunk nor have I ever used drugs. I honestly feel sad inside for you. I hope you can become a happier person.