I believe that kids and people will go as far as you let them. I will not allow negative aggressive behavior in my house.

 

Hi Michelle,

My kids have grown up kids grown up and unfortunately they don’t always listen to what I say when I intervene.  Kids in a family setting like I have (five children) are all vying for your attention and to be special.  f they see one get certain privelages they construe it as being treated preferentially.  You have to be very careful.  Having just two (one girl and one boy) doesnt result in quite the same level of sibling rivalry I’ve heard because although you intorudce another child into the mix and the first one get’s less attention, when the sexes are different, (i.e. you have a boy and a girl) they each are unique and know they will always be Mum’s son or Mum’s only Daughter.   So they don’t feel as comepetative as say five kids in a family vying for your sole attention.  

There is nothing you can really do when they behave inappropriately except ignore bad behaviour (that isn’t violent) and praise good behaviour or ground them and withdraw certain privelages when they really are doing something that could hurt them or others.  These days its harder being a parent and especially in this climate where the environment around them is rife with technology that can make life twice as difficult for the parent.  At this age your torn between letting them have some slack and trusting that they will do right when they are out of your sight, or putting your foot down and re inforcing a few rules.  I don’t think any parent can know the correct way... basically everything we do influences our kids, but they also are in control of themselves too to a certain extent and there is always outside influence too in the mix.  

All you can do is what you think is best at the time and hope they turn out right.  I’d say as a single parent, I’m doing pretty good after looking at the way others control their kids, or don’t control them. lol!