My son, who is really delightful in many ways, has always been a handful. He has many of the same traits you and Cassy mentioned.

When he was about 2 1/2 (and I was going out of my mind!) I read a book by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka called The Spirited Child. It hit home so much I actually cried. It was so wonderful to find out there were other children like my son.

I highly recommend that book. It gives great techniques for dealing with spirited children and also wonderful ways to describe them. I think sometimes "difficult" children hear the negatives labels and soon live up to them.

I found that my attitude toward my son was helped so much by adjusting myself. When I thought of him differently, I began to see him differently. For example, seeeing him as high energy instead of wild, helped me commit to getting him outside more to run around. Seeing him as determined instead of stubborn, helped me understand when he wasn’t ready to leave somewhere or something and to be sure and give him advance notice. When I thought about him differently I was able to channel his distinct traits to more positive paths.  

Three can be challenge. Four was an slightly easier year for us. Five has been even better.

-Chris