It is just always so frustrating to be "different" I am not normal, and I still have yet to accept that. I know that people on here are willing to try and help me in any way shape or form, but I still feel completely alone.

I don’t like to vent a whole lot because I don’t want people to find me as annoying. I usually keep everything to myself unless someone atcually wants to talk to me and not get annoyed with me. That happens to me alot. I would like any help I could get through anyone on this board, I just don’t want to be a bother.

I live in a pool of negativity. Whether it be able life, CAH, school, home, family, friends...whatever it may be. I hate being negative, and yet I can still be so positive when talking to people. This guy once told me that I am putting up a front in my life. I don’t want to do that. I know that when I don’t wear my medic-alert braclet, I am putting up a front because then no body knows what is wrong with me... so they can’t judge me and then I feel normal like everyone else.

Living with CAH definately isn’t easy, and it doesn’t make it any easier that I am (as I know) the only person in my city with CAH. It is so hard. No body knows what CAH is, not even most medical personnel... and that really disturbs me! It almost seems like people with CAH are totally and utterly invisible to the world! I just want people to understand, to know what happens, why it happens, and everything like that. It just makes me angry! I WANT TO BE NOTICED AS SOMEONE WHO IS THE SAME NOT JUDGED BECAUSE OF A DISEASE! BUT I ALSO WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO LIVE WITH!!!

Sorry for yelling, I just had to get it out.

E-mail me if you want at moretolife001@hotmail.com

Take Care,

Jenn