Good Lord have I EVER been where you are at! My son is attention deficit disorder/bi polar/depression..... I could not get him to take meds for the longest time and he is now 32 and I am raising his  swcah daughter. He has tried suicide several times and knows he needs meds to stabilize his moods.... but he has no health insurance and works labor jobs where most of them do not offer insurance. I know you are scared to death for him and you see him sliding through your fingers daily with no chance of HIM seeing how much HE still needs you.  We have tried everything including tough love to help our son.........but unfortunately unless they realize they have a problem there is not much we can do. We have even had Jimmy committed to the hospital to save himself. He does fine for 4 months and then Mr. independent comes back and we start the process all over again. I finally told him I could not worry about his health problems and his daughters and since he is the adult....... I wash my hands of the problem... the little one needs me more. He understands........ but is still is not on any meds. The mood swings are what tears the family apart. Now that your son is considered an adult there is not much you can do unless you want to play hardball and scare tactics to tell him you will put him somewhere  THEY will give him his meds as needed. This is a HARD road to take , but my view was it is better than DEAD. If an adult is harmful to himself he can be court ordered to take his meds. The other approach is possibly reaching him through his friends and girlfriend and have them encourage him to take medication and see a Doctor for his CAH. If your son has no healthcare I think you can apply for assistance and keep pushing the fact he needs these meds to live. The memorial page is another great idea. My approach may be harsh for someone with CAH and every young adult has there own sensitivity level. I know I begged and cried and argued for years to get my son straight on his meds .... but it has to be him that wants good mental health .. not ME wanting it for him. Your case is different your son can DIE from not taking his meds.  Call your mental health board and try to see if you can get some help. I know how much you hurt and how afraid you are as I live this way everyday and it ends up effecting YOUR health.  I will pray for you and your son as I do for my own everynight. Good luck and if you need to e-mail me feel free. Sincerely Cherry Lane