Dear Anon,

It’s wonderful that you are considerate to your son’s concern in this manner and I hope you find the Endo that will make things better. Having CAH isn’t the end of the world but sometimes the way it is handled by well meaning medical people is very traumatic.

I had a Female Nurse Practitioner recently examine me and she brought back many terrible memories of prior exams. She just unbuttoned my pants and pulled down my zipper like she owned me (she was intent on examining my lower abdomen when  the pain wasn’t even in that spot) . I told her that, "I would do it and all she had to do was ask" The woman didn’t listen and stated to pull down my underwear which made me infuriated that she completely disregarded what I said and was not sensitive to my feelings in the matter. By the time the Endo got into the room, I was so upset dealing with her that I didn’t discuss everything that I needed to with the male Endo that I like a lot and am very comfortable with. He is very sensitive to what people with CAH go through and feel about when it comes to exams. I tolerate her because I like him so much and he seems really interested in CAH unlike other Endos in the area.

It’s been my experience that men seem more understanding when it comes to exams like this. Granted non of this is easy but I bet it will be better with a male doctor, I have also found that it more based on the doctor’s personality rather than gender but I’ve never found a female doctor that has shown any consideration or maybe I couldn’t relate to their manner but I’ve had male doctors where there was a lot more consideration to the situation and I feel that in general male doctors are better listeners.

It took me until I was 34 to have an Endo that I feel safe and comfortable with. He is one that I can really trust and I hope that your son finds one like that now because it really matters in dealing with CAH or any other medical condition. It’s just a feeling you get, a certain sense that the are healers and thus your not uncomfortable to be in your "birthday suit" around them. I had one female Endo yell at me to "relax" and who can relax when someone is screaming at them? Your son is better off that he isn’t having residents pawing all over him too! I remember all of those faces and maybe if I didn’t go through that I might be a little more together. It’s bad enough having one doctor checking you over there No matter what the reason is.

Good Luck,

Aimee