Point was lost but I hope that Ponder might of got it. Am I a freak? no but do I feel that part of CAH is freaky ? Yes and I can’t think of anything more freaky but does this make me less of a person and less able to contribute in the world? nope. The point I was trying to make is that if you own the word and that if you hear other people say it then the word has less power. I learned this from other people that were born with other conditions that would get annoyed with the regular majority. I used Da freak as in slang from a street name vs.  I’m a freak : ( I’m a freak and I can’t do anything in the world which isn’t true.   It is freaky that you can take away cortisol and it has the possibility to make genitals ambiguous which is just my opinion .....really the body can do freaky things.

It’s sweet that parents want to protect their children but there is going to come a time when somewhere and most likely during medical treatment that some well meaning nurse or doctor is going to say the wrong thing and if your kids have learned to like themselves knowing the way that they were born then then they will understand that the doctor or nurse means no harm but is just being human. For example, I had a nurse tell me that ambiguous genitals look weird and then put up her hand and walked out when I told her that I was ok with the way I looked. Personally, I thought her face looked weird but I didn’t say anything. I was offended for awhile from a Email by a parent that made a comment "Ewww gross chicks with d##ks" but she was expressing her true feelings and I’d rather have that instead of some polite BS from someone that feels sorry for me. 

I really shouldn’t of ever wrote anything, I realize that having a child born like me is a trauma and seeing genitals that don’t look like one sex or the other is hard to deal with for most parents or as another Email from another  parent put it a" dreamworld" to accept.

My friends (guys) which are rowdy and obnoxious as heck(and know everything about my CAH) but never cared that barfed up in the back of the Navigator as they took me to them ER will be the first to call me the " little freak" but it’s out of affection with part of it being about the CAH but really it has to do with my out going personality and the goofy smile that is aways on my face. I’ll call them names also and they laugh  but when I call myself a freak with being hateful at myself, the guys get angry and hurt that how on earth could I say that about myself. I wrote because you could drive yourself crazy or to drink with all those articles and I wanted to share how I’ve tried to manage that. When it all comes down to it and the medical reason comes out to why someone is born like that all the sensationalism loses luster or if you meet someone with the condition it is no big deal. When I tell people how I was born they say you can’t tell which is a credit to the Endocrinologists that have helped me over the years.

I lead a productive life in society and I do help people. I just don’t want anyone to use CAH as a reason not to be productive because as Ponder put it they have "scars and pain from ridicule and rejection." Get up, dust yourself off and go on.

 

Aimee