Thank you all so much, Danny I would rather die than carry on being fat. If I do not eat I get sick, when I exercise I feel sick and I do exercise. The doctors to not offer help and support, you see them once every 6 months and you are lucky to see the same one. I hate more than anything being weighed, I want to sit and cry. I know it is the meds and not what I eat. I do not intend to go back to the endo EVER. Some days I feel suicidal, I cannot look at myself in the mirror. The rest of my family are thin and I know they love me and I do not want to hurt them but sometimes I hurt so much I want out. Thank you for your kind messages, it makes you feel that you are not alone. Thank you Kay, Danny’s message made me think no one understood and I thought of ending it all. It is not easy to post this.