janet m

I agree with Danny and John on the aspect that there are a LOT of children diagnosed with Adhd and Hyperactivity and placed on meds for the wrong reason. But not accepting that Add or adhd is not a REAL medical condition is just a fear of labeling there child and somehow thinking it reflects upon there parenting skills.

 If a child is ADD or ADHD or not....... it is true they work much better in a one on one enviroment and smaller classrooms and they respond well to the extra attention and can do very well when given the extras Danny and John speak of. But the real world will not molly coddle  and make exceptions for a child that is struggling with issues that ADD presents. I also feel that some parents just don’t want to accept the fact there child may have a chemical imbalance. ADD cannot be channeled..it is a chemical imbalance as much as CAH is. Unless you have lived it ... you don’t know how different you feel and how much you struggle to feel normal.  To have to will yourself to sit still when you you are about to jump out of your skin is tough for a child and to not know why you are gazing out the window watching the birds fly and thinking about what you will do when you get home from school rather than concentrate on your given assignment at that time.  When asked if shaking your foot or clicking your pencil or pen or doodling on your paper WHY are you doing this and the childs HONEST answer is I don’t know. Is very hard on a childs self esteem. THEY really don’t know why they behave different and they do not enjoy or understand the constant reprimanding they get for not fitting the mold. Watching a child walk in after being held back in 3rd grade twice with tears running down his face claiming he will never get out of the third grade made me realize my childs self esteem and self worth were just as important as his scholastic achievement. I stayed home and worked and helped my son CHANNEL as much of his energy as possible when he was young . Little league , sports ,karate. All very good for him. Taught him how to write notes to himself to remeber exams and school functions. Stiil he always struggled.... still struggles. Job losses and depression and just an all around screw up is how the world sees him. I KNOW his ADD is REAL and I Lived with it and struggled with him to achieve the needed support to handle this disorder. While I do agree some people medicate to make THERE life easier. Please do not think this disorder is a cop out for being lazy and not applying  ones self or one that can be fixed by the parent. IT IS A VERY REAL DISORDER. denying it is like saying a blind man can see if he opens his eyes. I do not push meds for this UNLESS the child is tested and all other forms of help are exhausted. I believe that meds and therapy with the medication is indeed the way to treat this. Janet m  follow your gut on this and ask the child how she feels about it. Daydreaming is ones ablity to attempt to get there mind to focus. One day they will hand in a PERFECT paper and the teacher will sigh a sigh of relieve and think they are making progress and just when you think you have reached this child they are off thinking about something else and will hand in a paper that you think is completed by a toddler. To hurry to complete a task because they want to move on to a task they enjoy more. It is like a dump truck dropping about two tons of magazines in your front yard and you need to assort them in alphabetical order.  Normal would accept the task and start doing this . ADD will get to the third magazine and see a project about building a birdhouse and leave the tons of magazines and start to gather the tools to build the bird house. Then realize he has no paint to paint the birdhouse  and is off to the home depot to get the paint. Comes home with the crown molding he needs to finish the project he started in the bedroom 8 months ago. ECT ECT. I could go on for months about the life of ADD and ADHD. I KNOW it.... lived with it .......have it and feel bad that the rest of the world dismisses a VERY REAL disorder as a bad habit. Your child will let you know after she is on medication if she feels different and better or worse. Don’t listen to  everyone else and be wishy washy on this disorder. Early treatment can make a difference in being a constructive adult or floundering for the rest of your life and having the world label you a airhead/lazy/unorganized/doof.

For the record most ADD and ADHD people are very intelligent and do very well in life. I know several lawyers and Doctors who are ADD.

Good luck in finding the right course for Ambar and I wish her the best.  If you have any questions feel free to e-mail me. Also I found reading as much information that I could get my hands on VERY helpful.