I don’t really have a great deal of wisdom for you; just wanted to say that you are not alone.  I think that we all experience this range of emotions in dealing with CAH, from grief and anger over the hand our child has been dealt, to guilt and shame about feeling this way.  Just remember that your precious children were given to you for a reason, and they were meant to be only yours.  It’s easy to become SuperMom and try to handle it all yourself, because the meds and Dr. visits are the only thing we have any amount of control over.  I had begun to take this road myself, then I realized that if the worst were to happen and I was not around to take care of my son, his Dad would need to be able to assume his care with no gaps.  So I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done and trusted someone else to become knowledgeable about his care.  Now he knows he is responsible for educating himself about this condition too, and I have a partner who knows the daily ins and outs and can give me support when my sadness at this overwhelms me.  For yourself and your child, you need to take some of this weight off your shoulders. 

I know you will be able to handle this; it’s amazing what we Mommies are capable of...

Sending you blessings and best wishes,