Dear Jenny,

 I know how you feel..... Great Holiday weekend Right! As is life is not tough enough we have to have our wits about us when our emotions and heart is breaking. I went through so much of this when  my son (Mitzi’s dad) was young. I honestly BELIEVE these children when they say they cannot control there feelings. I also think the steroids DO play a role in there aggressiveness. You have to read your letter again and the part where you ask him were you REALLY going to hurt her? I do think a therapist could help . Also there may be some jealousy on his part. Do you think he was showing off for the reaction of his peers? So many things and in such a short amount of time in a HEATED MOMENT. Your son will cool down and realize they are kids playing. I can understand him being upset......but not to be angry with you. You are in a NO WIN position. Maybe make him feel like he has some control over the situation and have him talk to your Grandson and ask him why he would want to hurt a little baby. Has he shown cruel or mean behavior towards animals or anything? REMIND your son also that your Grandson is still very young and they are not equipped to think logical during a rift with other children. Screaming and yelling only makes the situation worse. He should have been made to calm down before any of his behavior is discussed or addressed. My son use to use anger for everything in his life. Still does and is a very bitter young man at 33. It is his way of not having to deal with the REAL issues in his life. He is angry when he is sad..angry when he is under ANY pressure...angry when he is caught doing something wrong or feels he is unjustly accused of doing wrong. More ANGER ! Now I think he has been angry for so long he does not know how to be or react to most social situations. I feel bad for him ..but HE HAS TO WANT to change who he is and how he acts. I think he is angry because he can’t. We continue to suggest medication and guess what......... he gets angry because we want to control him! So IF I may offer any advice at all nip it in the bud early and have him talk to someone NOW! If he needs meds to guide him so be it. A lifetime with someone you love being miserable only makes for the whole family being afraid. We have always walked on eggshells so we would not set him off. Holidays were the worst because he feels the pressure to be someone he can’t or chooses not to be and we have to change our emotions to accomodate his mood swings and then we all end up eating in silence ready to cry at any given moment. We have separate family functions at times to keep the calm. IF I had the chance to do it over again I would have moved heaven and earth to make my son different. But ....he is who he is and we love him. I do not think ANY human wants to be ugly to someone UNLESS something is bothering them deep inside. Take a deep breath and ask for your son’s help and let your Grandson know that YOU LOVE HIM but some behaviors will not be tolerated in your home and violence is one of them. Hope you get some rest and know that you are not alone in the quest for a NON Jerry Springer home. God knows more of us have been there than we like to admit! Take care and keep the doors of communication open for your son with the two year old. He may be feeling some jealousy also that all of Grandma’s energy and time is going to your grandson and he feels his Daughter is losing on her realationship with you. You just never know in our situation. I will pray for you to have a happy Holiday and find peace in your heart this Easter.

Sincerely Cherry Lane