AnonymousI think that it has been reported that CAH women, expecially salt wasters tend to have more of a tendency to be lesbians. That said, what I find interesting is that they blame it on the hormones. I blame it partially on the fact that their genitals are the focus of CAH almost everywhere it is written about.
I do not have CAH and find certain women attractive. I find certain men attractive. Not being such a visual person, I find different people attractive for different reasons. I just happened to meet my husband and found myself attracted to him the most. Sexually, I was active early on (about 15 or 16) with a couple of different partners. I was kind of turned off sexually at first but found out later it was because I was simply not compatible emotionally or physically with those I had had sex with. Could I have thought I was gay? Perhaps, but putting two and two together, it seems that if the focus is on your genitals and the fact that you may be gay is pressed on you early on and you haven’t found a sexual partner that "fits" you personally, I wouldn’t determine that someone is gay at all. I would figure that they just haven’t found the one for them.
If you are concerned that you might not "look right" down there or it doesn’t "feel right" then you might be emotionally drawn to someone of the same sex as you because I would imagine you would subconsciously think at least you won’t turn off a female by your appearance or special needs as you would a (only in the mind) callous male who might say exactly what he thinks and bolt on you. A subconcious fear perhaps? Not what would happen maybe, but subconciously it might seem to be a possibility.
I don’t know your daughter and I don’t have CAH so I can only put myself in her shoes to a point. If she was taught, saw, or read something that made her feel differently sexually, that could definitely have an effect.
Not that this might be of any import or might be too much information but I have somewhat of a dominant personality. My husband is much more easygoing, lax, and although he has a lot of male friends, women like him because he is a "sensitive male". With all these conversations I have often thought that perhaps I could have been gay but I met a kinda sorta (in no way am saying my husband is effeminate) slightly more of a femalish male (man he would kill me if he read that! but I am trying to help with honesty...and using anonymous so he won’t read this!). I found the one that fit me best. I like all kinds of people but compatibility doesn’t necessarily mean male or female, it just means compatible no matter who they find. I think with CAH you have too many things that would point you towards lesbianism as far as what you read, see, and hear. Expectations. In a way, I like what Danny said once. Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think is what he said, sorry if I am wrong. Lesbianism is one of the first things I read about CAH. I hope my daughter doesn’t see that before she figures out who she is because I would hate to see it sway her in any way. If it turns out she is a lesbian, so be it. I guess I have to live with that and will love her no less, at least when I look at myself honestly like this I can see sort of where it would come from mentally and physically.
I just hope your daughter doesn’t label herself until she finds someone who she really wants to be with or gives more relationships a chance. My father was a Navy fighter pilot. My brother plays rugby, football, can lift a large refrigerator without effort, and still never puts the toilet seat down. I have lived with too much testosterone and found a happy medium. I love them, I love males, I love my mom and sister and love females in general because I have had great and loving examples of both. She will find her place. I just hope she gives herself more choices than on the "athletic" field of men. Sometimes they are great friends but not what you want to be with.