Thanks very, very much for all of your views.   I am extremely interested to read these responses -- they have caused my wife and I to completely reexamine how we relate to our daughter on her male/female relationships.  It is hard to explain this through email traffic.  I am not used to this kind of communication and frankly I am not following all the subtleties of these posts -- there seems to be a lot of background and history in all of this that I am way behind the curve on.  

While I think we are loving parents with a fair amount of common sense in raising kids, I am sensing from you that we have not been handling this issue right at all.  We see our daughter agonize over the fact that she doesn’t have a boyfriend (and she sure seems to us like she means it),  and we want her to be happy, like any other parents would.   I don’t WANT her to be gay, but believe me, I can accept it.   The issue is how we deal with her on this day to day -- what kind of pressures and signals are we jamming down on her that we almost certainly don’t fully realize.   The messages I’m getting from you are to calm down -- back off -- support her in all of her relationships -- don’t make suggestions (direct or body language) about what she is or should be doing with males or with her close female friend because we may not only may be making her very uncomfortable but we may somehow be helping to convince her she is gay, when she genuinely may not be or may not know  -- and finally, quit worrying about some unknown, nonexistent hormone therapy that I have been worried she might need and we are not providing.  

We are listening to you and very greatful for your willingess to help and share your personal insights and experiences.   We have been living completely by ourselves on these issues, with only a dumb, unhelpful male endocrinologist -- who has been a good technician/chemist but not much more -- to listen to for the last 21 years.