Although I do not have anymore children than my one daughter I can relate in a way. I had a nephew who was born with this rare condition. His lungs never fully developed even though he was a full term baby. The moment he was born they had to life flight him to another hospital and then from there they had to life flight him to another. At that hospital one baby died from the same condition. Another went home blind from the method they were using to treat this, and my nephew went into cardiac arrest twice. He lived. Although he made it through all this he still experienced a lot of breathing problems as he grew. He was the youngest of my brother’s family. Meanwhile my niece who three at the time spent a month at home with my mom while my brother and sister in law were vigilant at his bedside in another state. He came home with oxygen, and special instructions. I could ALWAYS see that my sister in law and brother favored him constantly as he grew up. Even at age 17 he is favored. It was so sad. I told them over and over again they were leaving her out. I know they never did it on purpose but after watching him go into cardiac arrest twice, I think they just couldn’t help but have that special bond. But still like elaine said, make sure you make the other children feel special. My niece grew up to be the niece I posted about in March having a baby. My family agreed that she made this choice at such a young age so she could have someone to love unconditionally. Now this is a little extreme and all situations are different. But I do know from day one her jealousy perkalted into her young adulthood. The good thing is, today my nephew and her are closer than ever. But I still feel there is that underlying jealousy that remains.  Thank you for posting that awesome insight elaine. I will pass it on to a friend of mine that has four children and one VERY special needs older child.