Thanks for sharing that Elaine.  As parents, we always do the best we can at the moment, knowing that someday something we did or said (or didn’t do or say), might come back to "haunt us"!  But keeping this positive, I believe this board can help as all follow the best path we can for our children, by learning from others and keeping an open mind.  My older daughter, non-cah probably seems to have her "priveleges" being the first to do everything.  My younger daughter, with SWCAH, will always be the "baby", but the expectations of her are the same as for her sister (re responsibilities, etc.).  Both me and my husband try to spend time alone with each daughter in a special way.  And along the way I have talked to my older daughter about her younger sister, and I don’t think there are any jealousies related just to the CAH.  It’s alwasy a challenge to love all your children equally but each in a special way as well!