Cindy you sound like you lived my mother’s life.  My dad stayed together for us kids he would say. My 21st birthday he moved out. I was devasted to no end. I built my world upon my family and now it was crumbling.  I was the last to graduate so their togetherness was on my shoulders. BUT really it was on theirs. I worked through a lot of upset over them divorcing. I don’t know how my mother stayed married through everything she endured. She herself had to get couseling. I had to seperate my father from my mom’s husband. Sounds insane but I had to. My father was and still is the greatest father in the world to me. I couldn’t hear what he did and go on. I had to seperate, and own that I hated what he did to my mother, but then still love him with all my heart as a father. It was hard. I was asked the other day by a close friend contemplating divorce if I had wished my parents stayed together as they did and waited until we were grown to get divorced or just got divorced as we were kids. I selfishly picked, stayed together until we were grown. I think we could cope better because of the adult situation that was surrounding our parents divorce. Although I see my brothers taking the same path my dad did. I wonder then, did they do the right thing by staying together and show us the bad example of how a family act. For me, I think it was the right choice. I think I turned out ok. (good thing my brothers didn’t hear that) Did it hurt less because we were older, no. BUT I can also see that my mom could have been a stronger person if she had left earlier. Somehow through enduring what she did, her confidence was robbed. So there is no right or wrong answer I just wanted to give you a side of a child of a parent that divorced later in life. I do know one thing for sure. Her faith got her through it in the end. Something she had to work on to find, but when she did, oh the rewards. Whatever religion you are, dig deep into it. If I learned anything from my parents divorcing it is this. My life cannot be built upon THEM. It has to be built upon God. I explained this to my daughter the other day. If you were to build a house you would want a solid foundation or everything it is holding up will fall in. That is what happened to me when I put my family as my foundation. It all caved in. Once I realized God was there to help us get through it, I made HIM my foundation and the rest was rebuilt upon my that solid foundation, God. Ok I am steppping down from my pulpit now. It is just something I wanted to share since I have watched my mother endure it for years now. Don’t let it be years, start the healing now. YOU deserve it. Not your kids, not your husband, YOU. God bless you.