I have terrible depression which finally came to light in 1992 after the birth of my 2nd child.  It has gotten worse over the years, especially with the diagnosis of each of my 3 children.  There is so much to worry about raising children, then each one later got another dose of MAJOR things to worry about!  I remember being overwhelmed with anxiety over the thought of them going into adrenal failure in 20 minutes if they suffered any physical stress!!!  All 3!!  I would not even let them go on field trips unless I could go!!  However, I had a violent and abusive childhood, so I don’t know if the depression comes from my childhood experiences, my parents  chemical imbalances (although they are not treated)  or some kind of hormonal (CAH) imbalance.  I would LOVE to have genetic testing, however, we can not afford it.

My husband, as well, has terrible anxiety issues and was diagnosed about 15 yrs ago.  His childhood was better, however, his Dad was a manic depressive.  My husband is 5"11’ and is extremely hairy!!  His mother is 5"2’ with a size 9 shoe.  There are so many factors involved it is hard to determine the exact cause.  However, genetic testing would shed light.  I really wish we could have it done.

However, medication and a relationship with Jesus, knowing I do have the father I always dreamed of watching over me has changed me tremendously and enabled me to cope with the fears of having 3 kids with LOCAH.

I never felt guily about passing on a LOCAH gene to my kids.  I have no control over my genes.  However, when my oldest was diagnosed with depression (age 15yr), I did wrestle with guilt and could not apply the same logic about LOCAH to depression.  I just kept thinking "boy have we messed up our kids with LOCAH & depression".  That was a difficult period, especially because our ped.endo said that "depression" is not connected to LOCAH.  Also, I wrestled with more guilt connected to her weight gain.  I have always struggled with my weight, so I felt that I taught her wrong eating/exercising habits.  The doc also said that the weight issue wasn’t connected to LOCAH either, so I blamed myself.  However, after a time period of prayer and reflection I realized that God has provided a GREAT mother for these children, great knowledge regarding organic/healthy food, etc.  That all of this is NOT on my shoulders -- HE is their true father and is taking care of them through me & Tom.  I just remain open to HIM, then my kids will be just fine, not PERFECT on this side of heaven, but just fine!!