An extremely hairy 4th grader is not trying to do adult things when she asks to shave.  She has a serious health problem that is causing her to be hairy and it needs to be addressed and taken care of.  If your average 4th grader said she wanted to shave, then yes she might be saying just so she could do grown up things.  What do you say to the LOCAH and the CAH 3rd grader whose breasts are so developed that they need to wear a bra, no you can’t because most little girls your age don’t even need a training bra??  Females effected with any form of CAH are trapped in a woman’s body as a child, and it can’t be neglicated or ignored because of that.  You need to deal with each child on an individual basis because not all issues are black and white.