Dear Andy,

Hi Andy! My CAH internet " brother" along with Ian! They would miss you Andy and I think you know that because you are trying to justify you reasons-I’ve done the same. 

 

I’ve been there and ain’t the hormones of CAH just sooooo fun at times? nooooo. Do you feel at times? just so detached and other times fine? me tooo! I went to great shrinks and for me it wasn’t deression related as needing something to keep the brain waves firing in the right direction and if people need med to help with depression that is a wonderful thing! mental health /medical health all good and one in the same to me!!!

I’ve talked with psychotrists that are directors of the county and had the head psychotrists from the hospital talk with me plus some psychologist- they all stated i didn’t fit their diagnostic criteria of anything mental health but if I did? darn right I would be working with them taking what ever they said.

I don’t have depression (medical lasting for more than two weeks at a time) but what I do have is extermely low self -esteem and people just don’t see that plus anger over medical CAH darened if you do and darned if you don’t - I had the best care for the time period and sometimes the best care was just to over whelming to me ...my way to deal after tryingto drink myself to death for six years/ bury the pain, shop to much, have sex to much-  is to work thru the anger by seeking answers from the very people that gave me the treatment.

I’m like you in that I feel very low at times and not connected. I tried to commit suicide twice- din’t tell anyone either - amazing how much a little caher...what a word can drink and take things that they shouldn’t but I woke up in my own vomit and something turned my head to the side.  My parents really thought everything was fine becauseI showed them only what they ...I thought they could handle. Plus they were told the CAH hormone stuff but ya know others with CAH go play tennis but some of us get drunk and/or hate ourselves. I have agression from the CAH and that turns people away ....had to learn to turn that into assertiveness at least futher realization that just being firm is better than the other two- yes - the hormones blah blah but my blood test always fine. So maybe it’s just personality wise and fuled a bit by the cortisones themselves - I don’t really know but I know my biomother was a quiet person that had a hard time expressing her feelings.   There is a reason we are all here - recently I was feeling like nothing scum ..a rat and these are my feelings real- I was going on about everything with CAH ....ain’t fluffy sorry  ....this one nurse looked at me with tears in her eyes.....a nurse that had laughed at me before because she was surprised that i was like this.....well this same nurse looked at me and said "Noooooo......you have so much to give" So Andy the world would be less without you....you have so much to give also- no matter what it is.

Also I was feeling miserable because jobwise, I wasn’t were I wanted to be.....so I’ve changed that and it made a difference. I also have a thyroid condition Hashimoto’s thyroiditis that is never treated in many because it comes across as bi-polar and then depression.....I also have celiac sprue which may affect behavior.

CAH no trouble at times but then it is.Do you exercise? i should exercise more but jogging really helps me feel better

best wishes- Aimee

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