Dear Roberta,

I’ve felt like you do but not today and can’t tell you how I’ll feel next month. If you aren’t going to take the cortisone then eventually you will ..yep start looking more and more male and eventually get sick becasue the adrenal gland is being deprived of cortiosne needed to function. maybe think of it this way that God has given skills to man and thus man helps others with making the cortisone   - I’m guessing you have simple - virilizing CAH like me?

Have you gotten your thyroid checked? My endo doesn’t check the CAH all the time either because he feels it’s stable and we’ve moved on to other conditions aka the evil thyroid but if asked he will do the 17 whatever whatever. Have you had  DHEA checked ? when the is low - depression may hover around and it seems like Prozac that you are taking really isn’t helping . If you feel your endo has tuned you or a better bet is concerend abotu how you are feeling but is hoping against all that this is frustration talking  out the maybe you would want to get another one. Somebody wanting to do themselves in? is a red flag and if anything would of been a nice gesture on her part to recommend CRISIS counseling- please go to your ER AND ASK TO BE ADMITTED IF YOU really want to destroy yourself . I’ve had your thinking in that I’ve justified that yeah... I’ll stop the cortisone then not really like suicide noooo whom I kidding ? CAH life threatening sooner or later and I also had cancer ....going to be a two year survivor coming this June and thought yep if the chemo/rad doesn’t work then that’s my sweet ticket out ....pretty sad don’t you think? and other times it was h***no I’m not going down for CAH or this gyno cancer.  I might have a thyroid cancer on the horizon but confident that things will work out for that one.

I  know the hopelessness that you feel AND IT SUCKS. A nurse wrote something that made me come off as a really strong person and I told her that I felt it wasn’t me but she went but you are.

I think if you are writing this then you are looking toward the CAH to find arreason to stay around for a while longer. Please Roberta- dig deep to try again to stay on earth. Maybe another endo? becasue one that doesn’t act that concerned when you are reaching for help or when you are considering the ways to off yourself isn’t much good for you. I’ll tell you something that a little shrink told me once and again they don’t know what it feels like to have CAH BUT SHE ASKED ME THAT if I wanted to consider not to kill myself that the first step is to put the idea and how I want to kill myself out of my mind. One has to choose to want to be here and do you? The Endo doesn’t have the powere to make it all better because it comes from inside you. Don’t have to take Pottasium any more? Don’t have to take it any more ? that interesting and this endo did some good. You wrote that you’ve always taken a low dose of the cortisone and know this doc is switching you to dex - maybe this is with the hope that you will feel better.

Like yourself and the men will come out of the wood work. What type of activity do you do? I’m considering tennis and golf myself and have been trying to increase the length that I can jog - i wanna do a marathon ...see to busy to off myself. To night I’m going down to the beach and watch this beach boot camp - it says for all activity levels sooo means that maybe even me about 40 pounds over would have fun.

 

Looking for some dude over the internet ? I think one has a better shot finding people doing things that you like. Volunteering could show you that everyone has something.

peace and good luck.

Aimee