Dear Laura,

I am sorry for what is happening with your Mom.

My grandfather past away when I was 10 and yes I cried but felt better after that and what helped me was to write a story about his passing.

I was at Catechism and my sister was the one that told me as she picked me up from church. I went with my mother and grandmother to the funeral home as they made arrangments and saw the coufins.

At that age, I liked the place with the velvet curtains and all that. I also was in my Grandparents room as they packed all his things and I have his retirement picture to this day. I was pretty much at peace with the whole thing and took the cue from the adults but I didn’t go to the funeral.

A close neighbor died when I was 13 and was calm for the whole thing but sad for his daughter.

My own Dad passed on into the next realm back in 1998 and I cried a bit when I got the news but was pretty calm also. I asked if he suffered and they stated no - I had spoken to him on a friday and he stated everything was GREAT. Sunday night, I got a feeling in my chest heart area like a pressing down while I was at work and this man and his wife walked by with him saying that he always liked Christmas ....liked past tense - My mind went that I needed to call my Dad even though I spoke to him out of State on the friday but I called him that Monday night because of the pressing in my chest and this thing going off in my head that I needed to call him. So, I called him and asked how was he feeling and again said" Great"...I heard his beeper go off in the back ground and I let him go. On Wednesday, my brother called to say that he died from a heart attack and he thought it was heart burn..really young and gone at 64. I don’t know if I had told him my story? would it of made a difference but when it’s your time...it’s your time. He would of laughed and just reasured that everything was fine to his somewaht goofy younger daughter. I often wonder if maybe because of our medical condition that we can sense things. I also knew that my brother was in a serious car accident before he told me.

 I did cry when I found out that he passed but after that I felt a sense of peace. It did make me smile that a couple years before that he had gotten picked to have his body donated to science ..so he wasn’t at the funeral : ) I cried at his funeral and felt better afterwards. I really, really cried and the heck with appearances and I did feel better.  I was muffed at the music tat was playing becuase it was that Sara Mc something in the arms of an Angel whereas a Jazz song would of suited his passing better because he listened to Jazz. For awhile after he passed on- I would see a man wearing a pin-striped oxford from a distance driving a white Caddy and smoking a cigar  ..for me? that was his way of telling me everything was OK.

I never cried when both of the Grandmothers died because both those women treated me with indifference. I didn’t even go to their funerals.

When the horse that I learned to ride on passed away in a violent way, I cried and got depressed and later drank to much over that.

You have to do what is right for your daughter and I’m just a speck on the internet. The only time that I’ve gotten stress doses are for surgery or really, really sick.

I would ask her Endo as well .

 

I mean well by this post and I hope that it helps somehow.

Aimee