J,

I’m sorry, I forgot how old your daughter is.  I have 2 daughters 9  & 10, both with ssw cah.  They both have their own likes and dislikes.  They have their "girl things" and "not so girl things".  We were told from the drs when our first daughter was born so many things about how she would "be".  We found the best way to handle things with both girls is to just be the best personal role models we can be and let them decide who they are and how they will be.   My oldest is in the 5th grade.  She’s a big hit because she likes pokemon, kickball, soccer, cops and robbers and Bratz.  My youngest is a big hit because she likes pokemon, barbies, littlest pet shop, digging in the dirt, soccer and the Justice store.  They are both sweet, kind and compassionate girls.  J, stop worrying!  Your sweet baby will be ok and find the exact place she should be in the world.  I wonder sometimes about my girls and hope we’re doing the best by them.  I realize we are because we are raising them with love and a sense of who they are.  I’m positive you are doing the same thing.

The other thing, when it gets tough for them (and trust me at their age, it does!) we sit and talk about it .  We have always always had an open talk policy, nothing is out of bounds.  I know they feel very comfortable talking to me about anything, even when it is embarrassing or hurtful.  I thought my heart would break the other day when my husband was in the hospital and my oldest asked " is this the time that daddy will die?  what will we do?"  I answered the way I knew how and we talked about it and how scary it was to have daddy away.

I firmly believe life and especially the foundation years are mostly dialogue.  Talk, communicate, be with each other.  You will be fine!!!  Please email me if you need anything or want to talk more.

Blessings!