This is a question that every parent of a child with a chronic illness has at some point.  I think it’s not so much about you "letting go" as your child "taking charge." It’s hard to imagine at 10 that she’ll ever have to manage CAH on her own, but the day will come when you have to let her go off to college, take a semester abroad, get married, etc. At that point she’ll need all the "tools" you’ve given her during these early years.

With increasing age and maturity, kids with CAH should be given more details about their disorder.  What is it? What medications do they take, how much, and when?  What should they do if they ever get really hurt or feel really sick? What do they need to tell the teacher, coach, parent, doctor, EMT if mommy/daddy aren’t around?

For my family these things were introduced gradually. Instead of my parents speaking for me during endocrine or pediatrician visits, I began to speak for myself around 7 (of course with mom and dad filling in details).  I was asked to explain CAH if there was ever a "new" doctor scenario (ie: a new dentist, new eyedoctor, etc) and was given the responsibility of partially (in pencil) filling out my school and sports medical forms every year. (it’s good practice to get a set vocabulary down and be able to identify medications and dosage.)

Personally, I don’t think CAH should stop any child from doing anything.  Do you think it would be easier for you to let go if you knew your daughter was able to handle some of the responsibility herself?  Of course at this age it’s important to always have an adult around that you can trust, but you should also be confident that your daughter can speak for herself and articulate her needs if she ever does break her leg during an away-game or start to feel sick during a sleep-over.  Sure you still need to be picky about what houses are okay for sleep-overs and who should be in charge of her care when you’re not there (as any parent should be). She also needs to learn that with increasing freedom comes increased responsibility.  If she wants to do more (as she gets older and enters middle school and high school) she has to demonstrate that she’s responsible and can take care of herself.  This means she doesn’t forget to take her medicine, always carries her injection kit (or makes sure her coach has it), etc.

Reading over this it does sound a little daunting, but rest assured it’s really not that bad.