Nothing is ever necessary. We just always want to fit perfectly into the mould that society has created for us, so sometimes we fall into the trap of letting other people facilitate how we should look or act.

Growing up with SWCAH is more painful because of genital exams. The easiest way I have of explaining it, would be to say that it is like being molested, over and over again - and with an audience.

Make sure you are your daughters voice. Put yourself in her shoes. Some people may think it is necessary so that they know that they made the ’right choice’...But to tell you the truth, what is more important is letting her feel like an individual - with a voice; with some sort of power, because living with a chronic illness you feel powerless (and especially if you have over-protective parents).

My earliest childhood memories are of genital exams....holding onto memories like these definately take their toll - especially during adolescence when you are trying to figure out who you are and where you belong. I am still trying to find answers to those questions, but this journey is overshaddowed by haunting memories of the hospital. Having these memories make you question whether you are normal or not. As a result of this, I no longer trust any medical professionals. I avoid going to the doctor at all costs - and would have to be on my death bed to warrant a hospital visit.

Because of CAH, and the stigma attached Doctor’s are naive. They don’t care whether or not you have had surgery, because they do like to look. It’s human nature to be interested in a condition that is exotic; its weird and wonderful at the same time. But my point being is. I am 18, I had surgery at 18 months, but doctors are still trying to find something wrong with the way I look. They are blind to the fact that I am comfortable with the way I look, which is more important than anything else. So my advice is, let your daughter enjoy being who she is. Let her be the one to discover what she doesn’t like about herself, rather than having a doctor tell her she doesn’t fit into their preconception of the perfect body. On a whole, genital examinations screw with you emotionally for a long time. Right when you think that you are okay, something will trigger you and you spiral back into a heap.

Please look after your daughter, not just physically - but emotionally too. It’s easier to deal with physical pain in comparison to emotional. I feel stupid that I am hurt by these memories more than anything else. But this is my experience. This is something I wish I never went through. I wish I had enough guts to tell all the doctors to stop, but being there you don’t feel as though you can. You need a parent to be that voice for you.