I wanted to thank everyone for their responses.  I asked a question like this because of reading posts like Aime’s or Analise.   If it weren’t for these women speaking up that they feel violated and abused  I would be left to blindly follow the doctors.  If it weren’t for these women’s stories, I would have had surgery done imediately by some old urologist bored out of his skull, and look, how exciting, a kid with ambiguous genitals.  Because of hearing women’s stories, I delayed my daughter’s surgery, I felt she looked fine in spite of nurses looking at her and saying"when are they going to fix this?"  I wanted to punch them and I haven’t felt that since junior high.  However, my daughter’s urine smelled so bad that well, she stunk.  people would politely say she smells like she needs a change. then I woul take her diaper off and it was just a little pee, but it was so strong smelling. Still I delayed.  My daughter complained of painful erections off and on for about 6 months.  I figured it was a new sensation she was trying to get used to.  looking back, I wonder why I did not think about that I have 2 boys who never once complained about an erection hurting.  Every day i think about my daughter’s surgery and her recovery and it is painful.  Every day I think about that she may be very angry with me one day.  Putting her through that surgery was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  I’ve tried to do everything to   lesson the trauma of having docs looking at her genitals ,which they wanted to do way more before her surgery.  I did not give her surgery to make her fit a mold and I take offense at that.  I brought my daughter home a week and a half later after discovering her sex thinking she was beautiful, EVERY BIT OF HER.  The endo looked horrified when I told her I felt my daughter’s genitals were beautiful just like the rest of her.  When the urologist said he could fix that,pointing to her genitals, I said "why"?, he said because the babysitter might think it looks funny.  I told him our sitter was cool with it.  So you see, things changed for us, and though her urine smelled ,I would have waited.  But the erections were really bothering her and waking her early in the morning and I would put her on the potty and she would say boo boo and cry.  Other times she would stop and grab herself until it went away.  I couldn’t see her growing up this way.  But I know some women say the erections were only mildly uncomfortable.  I don’t want any other parents to automatically think their kid is in pain, because they very well may not be.  I think some one else asked why we did vaginaplasty now.  I would want do the surgery once and unless you are sverely virilized, there is a 75% chance you won’t need a redo.  Also if you care about how it looks cosmetically studies have shown that when done as a one stage procedure before age 2, patients at age 18 were more satisfied with their surgery outcome.  I am all for waiting and it can and has worked for people though not without its hurdles.  Thanks for listening