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re: re: re: re: re: to Brenda and to others Mar. 6th, 2005 8:43am
Now come on. I didn't post this statement, "You aren't a mother" obviously to not hurt anyone. I had my time when I couldn't concieve either and wasn't sure if I would ever. It was stressful and dissapointing. I am sorry if you took that wrong. This isn't about people that CAN'T have children, it is about people that DON'T have children AND THINK we as mothers of CAH girls have these surgeries performed on them because we are selfish. That we want to hide some kind of shame from the world. That we do it for our own selfish reasons and never give it even a second thought. The picture that is painted of us is this big snobby selifish parent. Plowing into the surgeon's office with our poor helpless child that we don't give a damn about, we just want the "problem" fixed. Screw the rest of the story. That is our kids problem later.
I don't post "because you aren't a mother" to hurt anyone. Becoming a mother changes a person inside. And I wanted to point that out to someone that thinks we have no heart. She can't feel what we truly feel until she feels motherhood. I know some don't have to become a mother to understand what we feel because perhaps they have had a good childhood and can see that love in their parents eyes. So they know what it means to us.
This is to others. Here is the picture of who we are as mother's choosing to have this surgery done. We are like any other mother. We are making choices for our kids. That is, to have this surgery done or not to. We are parents and parents make choices because that is what parents do. We will make many more even when they can talk back to us a retaliate. It is what a parent does. These choices are made from our hearts. For guidance. Some are the hardest choices to make. Will they all be right? Maybe, maybe not. But the choices we make are from our hearts and for what we think will pave their way through life. We take what we learn, apply it, pray on it and make the choice. And that is for anything in their lives. We make choices for them out of love not haste, or selfishness. Personally for me there is no room to be selfish when you are a parent. They come first, period. Was it easy to see my daughter in the recovery room after surgery? Hell no. Did I cry and beg God to trade places with me? Beg to trade with me every time she needs bloodwork or the days I had to make her take a yucky medicine? Did I sob the day I found out she had this disease because I didn't want her to go through life with an obstacle? Do I still find myself crying after she has fallen asleep with a fever and pray she gets through another illness? Hell yes. So for someone to say I made this choice for surgery because I DIDN'T love her. I laugh. If they only knew how much I loved her. Cosmetic? This isn't a boob job we are talking about. That is cosmetic. I could give reason after reason why I chose surgery for my daughter. The bottom line is I did it all for love. I took what I learned, and thought about what was right for MY daughter and prayed on it and made my choice. I put myself in my daughter's shoes and asked what I would want if I were HER. NEVER did I make this choice for myself. If the anti surgery debators would get past that and settle into a "what can we do to improve these surgeries" IF someone chooses them, they would be helping a lot more people than they are. Peace.
